The 2017 CFP Committee

Time to meet the morons respected committee members who will get to pick the participants in this year’s “playoffs”…

Kirby Hocutt, chairman

Current gig: Texas Tech AD
Conference affiliations: ACC, Big 12, MAC
Recusal: Texas Tech
Age and alma mater: 45, Kansas State

While I have a lot of beef with the committee, Hocutt at least appears like the ideal person to have picking this crap.  To start he played football at Kansas State and played well, leading the league in tackles in 1993.  He also has previous gigs at Ohio in the MAC and Miami (FL) of the ACC.

On the flip side he is pathetic at his job.  While at Ohio, he eliminated men’s swimming and diving, men’s indoor track, men’s outdoor track, and women’s lacrosse.  He did this with zero advanced warning and saved a whopping $500,000.  This of course came after he had fundraising increase 75%, so why did the school need money?

A solid low-light came when he hired Al Golden at Miami – in December of 2010 before bolting to Texas Tech in January of 2011.  His time in Lubbuck has been an abject failure in the two marquee sports.

In football he hired Kliff Kingsbury in 2012.  He is 24-26 (13-23) at his alma mater and has shown zero interest in having a competent defense.  As for hoops, he hired Billiy Gillispie, a man who hadn’t coached since 2008-09 when Kentucky fired him.  He went 8-23 (1-17) before resigning abruptly before the 2012 season. It gets worse though.  Gillispie was investigated for player misconduct and when he found out about the investigation he had a heart attack and resigned because of HIS HEALTH!  Tech freaking honored his contract for 2012.

After not extending the interim coach, has-been retread Tubby Smith came to town.  He went 45-50 (18-36) before leaving Tech to go to Memphis.  The current coach went 18-14 (6-12) last year and has exactly four seasons of coaching experience and just one in division one to his name before being called on to lead the Red Raiders, so I’m sure he’ll pan out.

Awesome, a guy who can’t even find good coaches for his own schools and clearly doesn’t value student athletes from slashing programs at Ohio and trying to keep Gillispie around now chairs the “playoff” committee.

Grade: F

Frank Beamer

Former gig: Virginia Tech head coach
Conference affiliations: ACC
Recusal: Virginia Tech, Georgia
Age and alma mater: 70, Virginia Tech

A legend, a hall of famer, and a guy who had the game pass him by.  Frank’s last four seasons were a combined 29-23 (16-16) and featured an awesome 0-0 tie against Wake Forest that ended in a 6-3 loss in double overtime.  Dude didn’t even want the job, citing the time commitment before ultimately joining.

Perfect, a guy who would rather be fishing than selecting teams for a “playoff” gets to decide teams for the “playoff.”  It also helps that he probably doesn’t stay up late enough to watch Washington and even if he did, he wouldn’t understand the offense UW is running.  I’m sure his criteria will be his famous Beamer Ball.  Whoever blocks the most kicks will get Frank’s pick.

Grade: C+

Jeff Bower

Former gig: Southern Miss head coach
Conference affiliations: C-USA
Recusal: Southern Miss
Age and alma mater: 64, Southern Miss

Jeff Bower’s resume looks like the guy who always takes the easiest path to anything.  He transferred from Georgia to go to a school he could start at under center.  He then immediately became a grad assistant at USM after playing.  Three years later he is on USM’s staff as a WR and QB coach.  Left in 1982 for a few gigs but by 1988 he was right back at USM.  Another side trip in 1989 before becoming USM’s head coach in 1990….where he would last until 2007.

So wait, dude retired in 54?  Where is the lifer mentality?  Why doesn’t he take a harder route or get a tougher job?  Because it was easy and let him fine tune his golf game.

He has said that he used to be a “scratch golfer” and has claimed he’s won several tourneys.  Even his quotes about the committee makes him sound like a loafer, saying how easy he adapted to the committee and that he is “fine-tuning my routine and applying an extensive amount of data to make sure we make the best decision.”

I’m sure that fine-tuning of data will avoid another Ohio State over Penn State in the “tournament” again, right Jeff?  I’m sure he’ll show up just long enough to vote for some teams based on the ‘extensive data’ he’s collected before hitting the links for a quick nine.

Grade: D

Herb Deromedi

Former gig: Central Michigan head coach
Conference affiliations: Big Ten, MAC
Recusal: Central Michigan
Age and alma mater: 78, Michigan

Herb coached CMU for 16 seasons, won the MAC three times, was above .500 ten times, and got the tiny school to a bowl game back when there weren’t 223 bowl games.  All good stuff, but he hasn’t coached since 1993 and hasn’t been an administrator since 2006.  When my grandma was 78 she didn’t stay up to watch all the Iowa games and was sometimes confused by instant replay versus real time so how the hell is Herb watching the top ten to fifteen teams, let alone all 25 in action each week?  Newsflash, he isn’t.

Let’s also look some more at his career as an administrator.  His first act as AD was to hire his own defensive coordinator, Dick Flynn.  Flynn went 30-37 (23-26) and was 12-21 (9-15) his last three years before resigning.  Yup, he resigned.  Wasn’t tossed out.  Then he hired Mike DeBord.  I like DeBord……as an OC.  At CMU he went 12-34 (7-25).  I wonder how DeBord got the job?  Oh, right, he coached at Michigan.  Real exhaustive search there, Herb.  Finally Herb redeemed himself and hired Brian Kelly, which kicked off a string of successful coaches to go through CMU.

I’m sure Herb is a really nice guy and did vindicate himself with hiring Kelly before retiring but do you really want this person responsible for picking the four best teams in college football?  If I were to tell you that Herb Deromedi calls this 2017 Michigan team the best club they’ve had since winning the national title in 1997, would you suddenly go to Vegas and bet the farm on Michigan to win the natty?  No, you’d say, who the hell is Herb Deromedi.

Grade: C

Chris Howard

Current gig: Robert Morris president
Conference affiliations: Mountain West
Recusal: None
Age and alma mater: 48, Air Force

This guy…this guy is a moron.  First of all, he heads a university that barely has a football program.  I say barely because since 2014 they are 6-25 (3-13) in the FCS Northeast Conference and the NEC is one of the weakest leagues in the FCS, they’re like the Sun Belt of the FCS so how is he qualified to pick football teams?  Oh, he has an MBA from Harvard, studied at Oxford, and is a retired Air Force Reserve lt. colonel.  So he knows which teams will make the most money in television revenue and how to fly things.  Awesome.

Actually, he is still a moron.  His quotes don’t make any sense.  Like this gem, “I’m not going downrange to fight the Taliban and Al-Qaeda.  I’m choosing the best football teams to be represented when we get to that CFP.”  Huh?  Maybe this one is more decipherable, “I’ve dealt with some pretty intense situations in corporate America and higher education and in the military.”  You tell ’em, boss.

It’s alright though, in his bio he said his wife is actually the biggest football fan in the house.  Perfect, when Chris gets confused about if he is fighting the Taliban or picking Alabama to be in the CFP, Barbara can straighten him out.  Last, but worst, they named their dog after Sam Bradford.  Disgusting.

Grade: F

Tom Jernstedt

Current gig: Senior counselor, The Jernstedt Company
Conference affiliations: Big 12, Mountain West, Pac 12
Recusal: None
Age and alma mater: 72, Oregon

The Jernstedt Company?  What the hell is the The Jernstedt Company?  It is a company that “helps create solutions for communications challenges and opportunities.”  Aka, Public Relations, aka, how to make bull crap go down smoothly when somebody or something screws up royally.  So this company could help sell you on the “playoffs” when they pick a wrong team to be in it.  Perfect.

I love their company website, by the way.  It has some articles with the most recent being “Six Tips for Landing a PR Job” posted February 27th, 2017.  Because the PR firm I want doesn’t update their flipping website in six months.

Tom doesn’t run the company though so it isn’t all on him.  His resume is impressive with 38 years at the NCAA with several executive-level gigs.  He oversaw 88 championships across three divisions of NCAA athletics for both men and women’s sports.  He is even refereed to as the “Father of the Final Four.”  That’s hot stuff!  Too bad the NCAA is a corrupt organization who I trust about as far as I can throw ’em and it is nice to know that someone who crated a basketball tournament now gets to dabble in football.

Grade: D+

Bobby Johnson

Former gig: Vanderbilt head coach
Conference affiliations: ACC, SEC
Recusal: None
Age and alma mater: 66, Clemson

When you want to evaluate good teams, Bobby Johnson is the ideal candidate.  He certainly knows what it takes to lose to them, that’s for damn sure.  Bobby went 29-66 (12-52) in eight hopelessly pathetic seasons at Vanderbilt.  At least they’ll always have that 2008 Music City bowl win to get to 7-6, his only winning season at the school.

I love this quote by coach Johnson regarding how he evaluates teams, “I would guess that everyone has their own personal system and their favorite things to look for in a team.  The CFP folks provide the very best in terms of statistics, which I also use to support the choices I make.”  Let me translate this for you:

1. Everyone has their own ideas, so this “playoff” is essentially as useful as the old POLL SYSTEM FROM THE 1930s-1990s!
2. CFP gives the statistics, Johnson and the rest of the committee can’t be bothered to actual do any research for themselves
3. He uses the statistics to support the choices he makes, not to inform him of good teams.

I want to build on that third point.  Something supporting your choices.  That’s the opposite how it works.  Take these statements for instance.  This cold Chicago winter supports my realization that climate change isn’t real.  The lack of dinosaurs seen today supports my belief that dinosaurs never existed.  Texas Tech’s defense last year was really active since they defended 51 passes, 30th best nationally.  Do you see how picking data to support my choices is backwards?

Climate change isn’t reflected in day to day weather but broad trends.  We know dinosaurs exist, they’re just extinct, their lack of presence today doesn’t change the fact that they did live at one point.  Texas Tech finished dead last in the nation in scoring defense last year, giving up 43.5 points per game.  Now do you see how Bobby is backwards?

A smarter person would let statistics guide them to the best teams to pick.  A more analytical mind would not have preconceived notions of what teams they were choosing and then let the stats support those specific teams.  A rational human being wouldn’t let Bobby tank their program for eight years and have a say in anything related to football.

Grade: F- –

Jeff Long

Current gig: Arkansas AD and vice chancellor
Conference affiliations: ACC, Big 12, Big Ten, SEC
Recusal: Arkansas, Missouri
Age and alma mater: 57, Ohio Wesleyan

Here are the names of football head coaches hired by Jeff Long while at Pitt and Arkansas: Bret Bielema, Bobby Petrino, and Dave “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?” Wannsteadt.  With a list that impressive you probably want to know the number of conference titles Jeff Long hires have had: None.

Grade: F

Rob Mullens

Current gig: Oregon AD
Conference affiliations: ACC, Pac 12, SEC
Recusal: Oregon
Age and alma mater: 48, West Virginia

I’ll give Mullens this, he has been the AD at Oregon since 2010.  That is a long time to milk the Phil Knight cash cow and have literally zero power over your own athletic department.  If Knight called tomorrow and said he wanted Mullens to fire Willie Taggart, dig up Knute Rockne, use DNA from Knute’s femur to create a clone and then hire zombie Knute as the head coach Mullen’s only question would be, “left or right femur, your Nikeness?”

Grade: D

Dan Radakovich

Current gig: Clemson AD
Conference affiliations: ACC, SEC
Recusal: Clemson
Age and alma mater: 59, Indiana University of Pennsylvania

Radakovich!  Hot damn, from the defending champs!  He must be a good guy and administrator.  He isn’t and he isn’t.  As for administrating, well, he hired Paul Johnson while at Georgia Tech which isn’t too bad but my god has Clemson hoops been a joke under ‘ol Raddy.

As for being an asshole, well, just google “Dan Radakovich forcing students to pay.”  Dude wanted to have a mandatory $350 athletics fee for students.  When that failed, his latest scheme is trying to make students pay $225 for access to tickets to the lower bowl of the football stadium.  Don’t worry though, he got the South Carolina legislature to buy a 4.5 million dollar private jet for the Clemson athletic department, aka, him.  F this guy.

Grade: F

Gene Smith

Current gig: Ohio State AD
Conference affiliations: Big 12, Big Ten, Notre Dame, Pac 12
Recusal: Ohio State
Age and alma mater: 61, Notre Dame

Finally, someone who appears to know what the hell they are doing!  Smith is on his third power five school ADship and fourth overall.  His first power school was Iowa State (1993-2000) where he hired Dan McCarney, the school’s all time leader in wins, and oversaw the hoops team transition from legendary coach Johnny Orr to Tim Floyd and when Floyd went to the NBA to Larry Eustachy.  At Arizona State (2000-2005) he hired Dirk Koetter, who had an eight win and nine win season while Smith was there.  Dirk just didn’t survive the next staff after a shaky 2006.  As for Smith’s time at Ohio State since 2005?  Yeah, I’d say its gone well.

Grade: A+

Steve Wieberg

Former gig: USA Today college football reporter
Conference affiliations: SEC
Recusal: None
Age and alma mater: 62, Missouri

From his bio, “I started picking playoff fields, projecting the then-64-team NCAA basketball tournament for USA Today in 1989, before the term ‘bracketology’ was coined…I continued for 13 years, often correctly picking 63 teams, but never going a perfect 64-for-64.”  Someone tell this man it is a football “tournament.”

He is a hall of fame writer, though…the United States Basketball Writers Association Hall of Fame, damn it!  Not helping.  In all honesty, Wieberg seems like an interesting dude, going from the USA Today to teaching high school.  He is clearly a respected sports journalist and with his team being Mizzou, the odds of him putting implied pressure on the rest of the committee to get his team in the rankings won’t be happening any time soon.

Grade: B+

Tyronne Willingham

Former gig: Horribly coaching
Conference affiliations: Big Ten, Notre Dame, Pac 12
Recusal: Stanford, Duke
Age and alma mater: 63, Michigan State

Willingham was hot stuff at the turn of the century.  He coached Stanford from 1995 to 2001 and made them pretty respectable, going 44-36-1 (32-24) with four bowl games, a league title, and a Rose Bowl appearance.  It was good enough to get hired by Notre Dame.  With the Irish he debuted to a 10 win season.  Home run hire!  Then went 11-12 his other two years.  Then it happened.

By IT I mean the total disintegration of a coach and program.  Washington brought Ty back out to the Pac 12 but the marriage was a total failure.  Ty went 11-37 (6-29) with his last year coaching a hilarious 0-12 (0-9) effort.  It was the first winless season in 119 years of UW football and he has a .229 winning percentage, DFL in Husky history.

As for why the hell Washington hired him in the first place?  Well, the Stanford stuff wasn’t that old but UW had some recent NCAA trouble.  Ty was hired to clean up the program and clean up the image.  To do this he instituted some silly garbage, including one memorable highlight: a strict hair policy.  What a dope.

I’ll say this for Ty, though.  I *think* he’s a better coach than Bobby Johnson.

Grade: F-

P.S. You notice the American and Sun Belt didn’t get to have a rep?  Let’s break this down:

• ACC – Hocutt, Beamer, Johnson, Long, Radakovich
• Big 12 – Hocutt, Jernstedt, Long, Smith
• Big Ten – Deromedi, Long, Smith, Willingham
• C-USA – Bower
• MAC – Hocutt, Deromedi
• Mountain West – Howard, Jernstedt
• Notre Dame – Smith, Willingham
• Pac 12 – Jernstedt, Mullens, Willingham
• SEC – Johnson, Long, Mullens, Radakovich, Wieberg

I also find it hilarious that the Oregon AD has to recuse himself but the Oregon alum, Oregon native, brother to an Oregon alum, and NCAA lifer doesn’t.  Logical.  Jernstedt also played football at Oregon so I’m sure he’s never rubbed elbows with Phil Knight at any point.  What a joke.  Based on this committee it is pretty safe to say USF is screwed even if they go 13-0.  Sorry boys but the statistics just didn’t support Bobby Johnson picking you.

Information for this piece was provided by: http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/20465608/college-football-playoff-selection-committee-welcomes-new-members-including-former-virginia-tech-hokies-coach-frank-beamer